Dodgy Jammers

Our take on a beloved British classic biscuit that has helped fuel countless tea breaks and elevated the humble cuppa to a whole new level. She’s a cookie sandwich of a cultivar with a thick strawberry centre that your tongue will bash your brains in for a taste. If we held a Mephisto beauty pageant, she would still walk off with the sash and the crown without even smudging her jam.

Originally released in 2018 as Illuminauto #36, she started gathering attention long before she reached the shelves. The demand was instant and relentless, the sort of buzz that swept the nation like a YouTuber’s flavoured water, complete with the chaotic (and somewhat embarrassing) TikToks from a certain Wakefield corner shop. It made perfect sense to Brad. Her lineage is a marriage of two personal icons from his perpetual grows during his time on the Farm, strains he grew with the same devotion most people reserve for their nan’s best recipes. From the moment she landed, she was the type of plant that strolls into the tent and makes everyone else straighten their leaves.

Over the years, she built up a bit of a reputation for herself. Not in a dramatic way, more in the slow-burn fashion of something people mention once, then twice, then suddenly everyone is asking where on earth they can get hold of her. Demand got so daft that she ended up coming back for a Limited Edition run, joined by her sister from the same line. Both of them vanished quicker than biscuits at a family gathering where someone has mistakenly announced “help yourselves”.

Then we had the fun of navigating the naming. Anyone who has dealt with strain names knows it can feel like trying to cross a room full of copyright mousetraps in the dark. After a spot of legal fuss around a certain unnamed strain, we were politely advised that some of our playful nods to the nation’s favourite snacks may have been dunked in our brew a little too long. So we took the hint. No drama, no reinvention, just a quick name switcheroo. And so she returns as Dodgy Jammers, still very much herself, only now far more likely to keep the unscrupulous, underworked and overpaid corporate lawyers out of our biscuit tin.

Her step into the Reserva range was less a grand promotion and more a case of letting her sit where she had already plonked herself. Folks kept asking when she was coming back, and it became clear she had no intention of fading into the background. It’s a Doctor Who-style reinvention, still recognisable, still a cheeky chappie at heart, and still perfectly capable of stealing the spotlight without looking like she tried.

Dodgy Jammers returns exactly as she ought to. Fun, sticky and sweet in all the right places. A proper modern classic, the sort you can’t help going back to, even if you’re sat there like a guilty toddler, crumbs everywhere, insisting you haven’t eaten all the biscuits.

Dodgy Jammers is a straightforward cultivar to sow and grow for most environments and skill levels. In her early development, she settles into a sturdy, well-proportioned frame with a clear central leader and several confident satellite branches. She responds well to gentle guidance and is a good candidate for light training. At the Mephisto Farm, we prefer to leaf tuck where possible, although she will tolerate several rounds of defoliation without complaint unless she’s brutalised.

Plants grow to a medium to medium-large size in a good environment, forming a bushy frame with a clear desire to reach towards the upper canopy. Dodgy Jammers feeds steadily and drinks heavily, and her fan leaves grow broad and thick, often large enough to shade developing sites if left untouched. She benefits from simple canopy management that opens her up and allows light to reach all levels of her structure.

Once flowering begins, she gets to work quickly. Dodgy Jammers stacks pre-flower clusters early and builds them into dense, weighty colas with a defined main spear supported by productive secondary branches. Buds grow tight and heavy with closely packed bracts that take on a glossy, resin-coated finish. Trimming her is straightforward, as she produces little in the way of excess leaf by the time she reaches maturity.

Plants finish with a warm golden fade, especially under cooler night-time temperatures. Aromatically, she pushes a strong strawberry-driven profile throughout flower, which deepens during the dry and cure. She has a pastry sweetness that develops over time with a gentle earthy note sitting beneath, giving her a rich and moreish character that suits both flower and extracts.

Dodgy Jammers is a rewarding plant from start to finish. She behaves predictably, grows with purpose and produces high-quality, resin-heavy buds that are easy to process and hard to forget.